The Gathering
Recently, we opened our home to a few families and spent some quality time around a kiddie pool, an outdoor rug, and a cold watermelon. Conversations were had of various depths. One family shared some exciting news; the dads raced (don’t ask me about my performance but at least I was not checking my pulse after 40 yards); the moms raced; the kids raced; laughter abounded.
There was no agenda; a few of the adults showed up in work clothes. The kids played in the pool, and eventually a few of them strolled out of the house looking like Spiderman and Belle and Elsa. There was a diaper blowout and an impromptu bathtime. It was a joyous gathering.
This is a value of our family: we want our home to be a place of hospitality and peace, a place where people can find joy and comfort as they step inside the door, a place where laughter and conversation abounds. It extends from our personal desire to invest in community.
In the last 15 years, our society has walked away from in-person relationships towards virtual relationships. More and more, there are long-distance relationships of the romantic sort developing without ever meeting in person. More and more, families are disconnecting despite living in proximity to each other, defaulting to intermittent texts.
While Gen Z is able to effectively utilize technology for online communities, the truth is Millenials and older fail to do so.
Regardless. Virtual connection will never sufficiently replace in-person connection.
Crossing the threshold of someone’s home changes the relationship immediately.
Packages are dropped at the doorstep.
Friendships are cultivated in the kitchen.
When my wife and I remodeled our kitchen, we put an island in the center of one side and left it open enough for kids to play in the floor, shoes and toys to be scattered, and people to fit comfortably. We envisioned the beauty of community that would be nurtured in that room, extending into the living and dining room. I even wrote a short blessing and a prayer on the frame of the island before it was completed, and let the friend who helped me build it sign it as a symbol of the community it would support.
We have seen this vision come to life as afternoon coffees, dinner visits, game nights, and late night conversations have been aplenty in our kitchen. And we hope it continues to grow as the seasons of life shift.
As I go through life, I am more and more convinced that the people around us matter way more than we realize. The question continues to be: what are you doing to cultivate the relationships around you?
I get it. You’re busy. Me too.
I work 45-50 hours a week on average, plus a wife and 4 kids at home, plus a pastoral role, plus wanting to be present in our local community, plus all the projects I chase.
If community is a value in your life, then you will make it a priority to pursue.
My challenge for you this week is to invite someone over, or even just invite someone to go out for a meal or coffee. Make it a priority.
Have a real conversation, and set the tech down for a minute (every ounce of data shows that the mere presence of a phone creates a barrier between you and another physical person). When you nurture community, you will find life and joy in a way that you have not before.
Make time for it.