Humility precedes wisdom

When I was younger, I was more difficult to be around than I am now (at least that is my self-perception). While still relatively young now, the years have been good for me and my personal growth. I think I am at least a little more bearable.

In my teens and early 20s, I wanted to appear as though I had the answers. An extension of my know-it-all personality, I wanted to offer advice and wisdom to those around me. I genuinely wanted to be helpful, though it may not have always seemed that way.

I do not remember the exact moment, but somewhere in my 20s I learned that I still lacked a depth of humility necessary to be a genuine source of wisdom for others. Maybe it was when my pastor called me out privately for publicly being a jerk to my dad. Maybe it was when a family member pointed out some hypocrisy in my life. Maybe it was when a friend told me gently but kindly that he did not ask for my opinion. Maybe it was being married and learning that my wife does not want me to fix everything, but also she wants me to acknowledge her and help her feel heard, but also she wants me to ask if she wants my opinion (this was a very specific recent conversation).

My desire to offer wisdom was still driven by my own desires. My desire to have and share wisdom was blockaded by my desire to appear to have the answers. Somewhere along the way, and to be fair it is a path I still am walking daily, the Lord made clear that humility comes before wisdom.

In recent years, I have learned to be more comfortable with saying “I don’t know”. As a kid, for whatever reason, I learned that “I don’t know” was unacceptable. In wisdom, I have learned the humble strength of a confident “I don’t know”.

It is in the humble “I don’t know” where growth happens. In 2016, I did not know how to manage money. Now, I have been able to coach others with finances through difficult seasons. In 2020, I had never changed a diaper. Now, I have changed a number I estimate to be in the thousands. In 2024, I did not know how to do any electrical work. Now, I have done multiple projects in my house involving electrical work.

The gap between “I don’t know” and “Now I know” is only bridged by a humble approach to learn. Whether it be a project or task, like installing a new light switch, or a piece of wisdom for intentional living, like budgeting your money, the chance to learn something new is fueled by the humility of “I don’t know”.

Humility leads you to ask questions.

Humility leads you to ask a cousin for help.

Humility leads you to read from those who have done it.

Humility leads you to say, “I don’t know”.

A confident and humble “I don’t know” is in fact a statement of strength. It is an internal security of my identity, and it is an acknowledgement that I don’t have all the answers.

When humility is persistent, then wisdom can be obtained. There is wisdom to glean from the older generation, but it takes humility to sit under an elder. There is wisdom to gain from someone who has a skill you desire, but it takes humility to listen. There is wisdom to grow in as you look at all the resources we have access to in this age, but it takes humility to pursue them.

In my younger years, I sought people I could offer advice. I have learned that there is no need to offer advice or wisdom to those who are not seeking. They will not listen, or if they do, they will feel judged for being forced to received unprompted perspective. Ironically, the humility that precedes wisdom draws others to seek out your wisdom more purposefully.

Humility invites others to listen.

Humility brings about growth.

Humility nurtures wisdom.

Humbly seek wisdom for yourself, and humbly make yourself available to others. As you humbly grow in wisdom, people will seek it out.