How are your bones?
Have you ever seen the frame of a tall building? Whether a skyscraper or even just a tall pole barn, the bones of these buildings tell stories worth noting.
The buildings are designed uniquely for their environment, to withstand potential weather and natural issues without damage to the skeleton holding it all up. The manner with which the frame is designed requires such care and craft, and each material used is carefully considered.
One key thing to these structures is the strength of these bones and the joints holding them together: structural integrity. Or consider the age-old arch bridge. Made of stone, it relies on the placement and strength of the keystone to remain steady. Now, I am not an architect or an engineer, but I find the design of various structures fascinating in how they reflect real life.
Integrity is a word that I have held onto firmly for a decade or so. In my own words, it is the strength to remain the same despite the circumstances. It is sticking to my principles and values despite the voices around me. It is holding steady despite the advantage or gain of breaking. It is the structure of your character, the bones of your whole person.
When an earthquake hits, skyscrapers are designed to sway but not break. The frame has just enough pliability and flexibility (imagine that, metal being flexible) to move but not crack or shatter. Think of the force and the tension that frame is under when bending. It would be easier to not bend, or just to break. To sway and bend without breaking is the challenge.
That is the lesson for life. Can you bend to handle storms without breaking your character, your principles, your values, your word?
Integrity means you are the same no matter who is around or what is happening. You are going to stick to your principles and values, whether at work or at church or at home or anywhere else. Integrity “encompasses an unwavering adherence to ethics for the entire organization.” It is about a wholeness of person and character, resolved and unbroken in principle.
Along the way in life, I have met too many people who shift and morph their character and their values and sometimes their whole personality to match the room. They are exercising a great skill of adaptability, but notice how no one is building strong and tall and lasting buildings out of jello. Strength and lasting impact relies on the ability to maintain despite the circumstances.
Prioritizing adaptability over integrity will damage your impact.
Adaptability is a great skill, important in every aspect of life. But if you are so focused on adapting that you are setting down your principles and values, and you find your language changing depending on who is around, and you notice your stress level rises when people from different worlds meet, then you might need to step back and evaluate: are you the same person regardless of who is around?
If you spend a lifetime justifying a lack of integrity as adaptability or some other excuse, you will end up in an ugly place in decision-making. Inevitably, you will make decisions that completely go against the principles you publicly stand on, and you will allow those around you to make destructive decisions. It is unfortunately too easy to identify the string of faith-based leaders who set their integrity down, even in the recent weeks. Even outside of the faith, a lack of integrity leads to bad decisions and broken culture.
The beauty of integrity is it can be developed and it is a choice. So pursue it. Challenge yourself to be the same person regardless of who is around or where you are at.
Personally, I have continued to mold and refine my view of integrity. A good starting point is to sit down and define your principles. Write them down and review them. What key truths of life define your decision-making, your habits, your attitudes, your words, and your relationships?
Are you a person of faith? Or are you a person of faith, sometimes?
Do you have a high view of family? Or just sometimes?
Do you value honesty and truthfulness? Or only when it benefits you?
What bones do you have holding up your character?
Define your principles and then live by them. Let those be pillars of strength for you to return to when the storm hits. Over the years, refine them and craft them so that you are being the person you want to be.